Anger courses through my veins
Like red hot lava
The mist descends and all i can think of
Is how to hurt you.
No-one cuts me to the quick like you
No-one makes me feel as small.
I hate that i love you.
I hate you.
One day you will realise
Just what you have lost.
Until then i will sit waiting,
Hurting,
Gone.
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Why do we try to change people?
Is it just me who has this inbred need to "Rescue" people?
Most of my exes have had problems and certain personality quirks that i have thought possible to change. Rather foolishly i might add as we all know you cannot change someone who doesn't want to change.
I do think that as a race we do have this need to mould people to be how we'd like them to be. Perhaps we want them to be more like us so we don't feel quite so alone in our misgivings. I know that i am a complete pain in the arse. I know that i have many flaws and i could quite happily list them right now. So why, when i am so acutely aware of my downfalls, do i try so hard to cure other people's? What on earth possesses me to want to make others better?
Let's face it, we are what we are. We all pick up little quirks as we grow. We are influenced by those around us, our parents, our friends, the TV, newspapers etc and so as we grow we become adults who are all so completely different in our make up. Even genetics does to some degree play a part. Yet we attract people so completely alien to ourselves and we just can't seem to accept that not everyone is the same. We know we MUST accept it but a small part of us always seems to think "Hang on a minute, if i keep trying then maybe i can just change this bit"
The answer to that is No, you can't change it. Leave it alone. It doesn't belong to you. Why on earth would you want to change someone? Why on earth would you wish for them to be someone else when you were attracted to them as they are in the first place? Don't get me wrong, i think every man would love to change how often his woman wanted sex and no doubt every woman would want to change how often a man chucks his mucky pants on the floor next to the wash basket, but in all seriousness if your partner/friend had things about them you didn't like... why on earth are you spending time with them in the first place?
Of course there are exceptions to this, some people are after all very good at hiding their secret parts that they know no one will accept at a first glance. I'm sure Fred West sure as hell never introduced himself to people as "The crazy bloke who likes to slaughter innocent women"
But... if things are obvious from the get go... if you fall for a man for instance who likes to be with his friends when you want someone who will be with YOU all the time, why do you stick around? Why do you assume that he will be so taken in by your womanly charms that he will completely forget who he has been for the past 30 years? He won't. Accept it. Move on.
We need to learn to accept people for who they ARE not who we would like them to BE. I'm never going to be a size 8 with perfect abs and smooth peachy skin. Then again i am quite funny and i like to think that my personality has it's attractions. So why do i worry how people see me? Surely those who matter would love me regardless and wouldn't want to change me?
Unfortunately though i am one of those people who tries to change herself to suit others. The worst kind of person there is. I try so hard to fit into little boxes that i forget i already have my own columns.
The fact is, you cannot be who you are not. No more than a man can be arsed to put his pants in the wash basket when he has a woman silly enough to grumble about it and pick them up herself. No more than a woman can be bothered to keep herself in shape when her man stuffs himself stupid. It's human nature.
So when you are considering trying to change someone you love or respect... first try looking at yourself and whether someone would want to change you. Chances are that you are someone who would need to be changed.
Most of my exes have had problems and certain personality quirks that i have thought possible to change. Rather foolishly i might add as we all know you cannot change someone who doesn't want to change.
I do think that as a race we do have this need to mould people to be how we'd like them to be. Perhaps we want them to be more like us so we don't feel quite so alone in our misgivings. I know that i am a complete pain in the arse. I know that i have many flaws and i could quite happily list them right now. So why, when i am so acutely aware of my downfalls, do i try so hard to cure other people's? What on earth possesses me to want to make others better?
Let's face it, we are what we are. We all pick up little quirks as we grow. We are influenced by those around us, our parents, our friends, the TV, newspapers etc and so as we grow we become adults who are all so completely different in our make up. Even genetics does to some degree play a part. Yet we attract people so completely alien to ourselves and we just can't seem to accept that not everyone is the same. We know we MUST accept it but a small part of us always seems to think "Hang on a minute, if i keep trying then maybe i can just change this bit"
The answer to that is No, you can't change it. Leave it alone. It doesn't belong to you. Why on earth would you want to change someone? Why on earth would you wish for them to be someone else when you were attracted to them as they are in the first place? Don't get me wrong, i think every man would love to change how often his woman wanted sex and no doubt every woman would want to change how often a man chucks his mucky pants on the floor next to the wash basket, but in all seriousness if your partner/friend had things about them you didn't like... why on earth are you spending time with them in the first place?
Of course there are exceptions to this, some people are after all very good at hiding their secret parts that they know no one will accept at a first glance. I'm sure Fred West sure as hell never introduced himself to people as "The crazy bloke who likes to slaughter innocent women"
But... if things are obvious from the get go... if you fall for a man for instance who likes to be with his friends when you want someone who will be with YOU all the time, why do you stick around? Why do you assume that he will be so taken in by your womanly charms that he will completely forget who he has been for the past 30 years? He won't. Accept it. Move on.
We need to learn to accept people for who they ARE not who we would like them to BE. I'm never going to be a size 8 with perfect abs and smooth peachy skin. Then again i am quite funny and i like to think that my personality has it's attractions. So why do i worry how people see me? Surely those who matter would love me regardless and wouldn't want to change me?
Unfortunately though i am one of those people who tries to change herself to suit others. The worst kind of person there is. I try so hard to fit into little boxes that i forget i already have my own columns.
The fact is, you cannot be who you are not. No more than a man can be arsed to put his pants in the wash basket when he has a woman silly enough to grumble about it and pick them up herself. No more than a woman can be bothered to keep herself in shape when her man stuffs himself stupid. It's human nature.
So when you are considering trying to change someone you love or respect... first try looking at yourself and whether someone would want to change you. Chances are that you are someone who would need to be changed.
Wednesday 20 April 2011
Percy Wett... The most special penguin in the world!
On the 21st July 2010, a very special knitted penguin was born to two wonderful mummies. These mummies were so happy to have been blessed with this special bundle that they named him Percy Wett.
Now Percy isn't your average knitted penguin. You cannot find another one like him... he is unique. He has a big heart, a HUGE wardrobe and is unfortunately allergic to fish meaning he has to survive on chocolate penguins! What a wonderful penguin he really is!
Now Percy isn't your average knitted penguin. You cannot find another one like him... he is unique. He has a big heart, a HUGE wardrobe and is unfortunately allergic to fish meaning he has to survive on chocolate penguins! What a wonderful penguin he really is!
Percy is SO special that he is currently training to climb Ben Nevis with one of his mummies for a wonderful cause. He is raising money for the John Eastwood Hospice Charity.
Now this isn't an easy task for anyone... let alone a knitted penguin so he has been working hard to ensure he is fit and well and manages to complete the climb which is a staggering 4,409ft high! I don't know about you but i know i wouldn't be able to manage it so i am utterly in awe of Percy and his mummy!
I have been following Percy on his Face book page since before Christmas. He is such a gentleman. He goes to work with his fans and always makes his mummies proud. You can become a fan of Percy Wett via his Facebook or via his Twitter account!
Percy doesn't just raise money for charity or go to work with his fans... he also stars in his own videos! He is a true star in every sense of the word...
This one being my absolute favourite! You can also find many more of his videos HERE. You can subscribe to them too so you never miss a single one!
So, as you can see Percy is a hard working, fun loving and beautifully dressed penguin with a heart of gold! If you can, please please please make a small donation to his cause. Show your support by following him on Twitter and by adding him to Facebook using the links i have posted above!
I know that both Percy Wett AND his mummies will be thrilled to have you join them!
As for me... I shall soon be making a donation to the cause and will be cheering him along every step of the way!
Percy Wett... you are an inspiration to us all!
Love you,
Princess Ames xx
Tuesday 19 April 2011
A letter to my son...
I thought it would be a touching idea to write my son a letter for the future. So he could fully understand at 21 why i did all the things i did as a parent. I know had my mum written me a similar letter, it would have fully prepared me for being a parent....
Dear Son,
As you reach your 21st birthday i wish to pass on this letter to explain to you why the past 21 years have been like they have. Nothing can prepare you for how you feel when you become a parent. Everything you had ever known about the world becomes different. No longer can you lie in bed until 12pm. No longer can you spend all your money recklessly on drink and clothes you don't need (although some people do that don't really care about their children). Now you have to take care of this tiny little life that relies on you for everything.
I have changed your nappy so many times i could go blind. I have cleaned up sick, blood, poop and wee so many times that if i had a pound for every time i had... I'd be rich. But in all fairness, i would do it all again for you because you're my reason for getting up in the morning.
When i shout at you, it's only because i care. When i nag at you, it's only because I'm a mother and that's what we do. Whenever i moan at you for throwing your clothes on the floor... pick them up! I'm getting old and bending at my age is not good. Remember that the reason my back is sore is because I have had to carry you so often when you were complaining about being tired! Also remember that when I am old and incontinent... i expect you to step up to the plate and change my nappy, as i did yours ;)
Watching you grow hasn't been easy. As each year has passed i have watch you bloom into a beautiful young man. I have watched you triumph and i have seen you fail. I have been there to kiss the tears away and hug you to share your joy. These things you can never put a price on. You don't tend to hug or kiss me much any more... you seem to think you're too old for that now but i beg to differ young man!
I'm sorry that you found out Santa Claus wasn't real when you were 9. It was a severe disappointment for me too when i leant the same when i was that age. I always held that magic for you as long as i could. I expect you to do the same if any children are blessed to have you as their father. Same goes for the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and The Grinch (He's real you know!)
I'm sorry that I've always been just a little bit too grumpy. I seem to have a gene that causes me to have sulky moments when i should be smiling with you. It's not easy being a parent. You'll realise that someday. When you finally realise that money doesn't grow on trees and the world isn't made of chocolate... you'll be able to see what i mean.
Always love with ALL your heart. Never be afraid to cry or to let others in. Please try to learn to ride a bike and stick to the swimming as you always hated that. Make sure you brush your hair, clean your teeth and wash your clothes. Shower often... no one likes a smelly person. I probably won't have taught you to iron as I'm rubbish at it but you know how to use the washing machine so go and put the whites on for your dear old ma.
Above all, remember that mummy always did her best for you. I may not have always got it right but i always tried and that, when you're a parent is the most important thing. You learn from your mistakes after all. So go forth into the big wide world, love hard, live fast and always try to achieve your dreams. I'm so proud of who you have become.
Always yours,
Love Mum.
xxxx
Dear Son,
As you reach your 21st birthday i wish to pass on this letter to explain to you why the past 21 years have been like they have. Nothing can prepare you for how you feel when you become a parent. Everything you had ever known about the world becomes different. No longer can you lie in bed until 12pm. No longer can you spend all your money recklessly on drink and clothes you don't need (although some people do that don't really care about their children). Now you have to take care of this tiny little life that relies on you for everything.
I have changed your nappy so many times i could go blind. I have cleaned up sick, blood, poop and wee so many times that if i had a pound for every time i had... I'd be rich. But in all fairness, i would do it all again for you because you're my reason for getting up in the morning.
When i shout at you, it's only because i care. When i nag at you, it's only because I'm a mother and that's what we do. Whenever i moan at you for throwing your clothes on the floor... pick them up! I'm getting old and bending at my age is not good. Remember that the reason my back is sore is because I have had to carry you so often when you were complaining about being tired! Also remember that when I am old and incontinent... i expect you to step up to the plate and change my nappy, as i did yours ;)
Watching you grow hasn't been easy. As each year has passed i have watch you bloom into a beautiful young man. I have watched you triumph and i have seen you fail. I have been there to kiss the tears away and hug you to share your joy. These things you can never put a price on. You don't tend to hug or kiss me much any more... you seem to think you're too old for that now but i beg to differ young man!
I'm sorry that you found out Santa Claus wasn't real when you were 9. It was a severe disappointment for me too when i leant the same when i was that age. I always held that magic for you as long as i could. I expect you to do the same if any children are blessed to have you as their father. Same goes for the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and The Grinch (He's real you know!)
I'm sorry that I've always been just a little bit too grumpy. I seem to have a gene that causes me to have sulky moments when i should be smiling with you. It's not easy being a parent. You'll realise that someday. When you finally realise that money doesn't grow on trees and the world isn't made of chocolate... you'll be able to see what i mean.
Always love with ALL your heart. Never be afraid to cry or to let others in. Please try to learn to ride a bike and stick to the swimming as you always hated that. Make sure you brush your hair, clean your teeth and wash your clothes. Shower often... no one likes a smelly person. I probably won't have taught you to iron as I'm rubbish at it but you know how to use the washing machine so go and put the whites on for your dear old ma.
Above all, remember that mummy always did her best for you. I may not have always got it right but i always tried and that, when you're a parent is the most important thing. You learn from your mistakes after all. So go forth into the big wide world, love hard, live fast and always try to achieve your dreams. I'm so proud of who you have become.
Always yours,
Love Mum.
xxxx
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