I thought it would be a touching idea to write my son a letter for the future. So he could fully understand at 21 why i did all the things i did as a parent. I know had my mum written me a similar letter, it would have fully prepared me for being a parent....
Dear Son,
As you reach your 21st birthday i wish to pass on this letter to explain to you why the past 21 years have been like they have. Nothing can prepare you for how you feel when you become a parent. Everything you had ever known about the world becomes different. No longer can you lie in bed until 12pm. No longer can you spend all your money recklessly on drink and clothes you don't need (although some people do that don't really care about their children). Now you have to take care of this tiny little life that relies on you for everything.
I have changed your nappy so many times i could go blind. I have cleaned up sick, blood, poop and wee so many times that if i had a pound for every time i had... I'd be rich. But in all fairness, i would do it all again for you because you're my reason for getting up in the morning.
When i shout at you, it's only because i care. When i nag at you, it's only because I'm a mother and that's what we do. Whenever i moan at you for throwing your clothes on the floor... pick them up! I'm getting old and bending at my age is not good. Remember that the reason my back is sore is because I have had to carry you so often when you were complaining about being tired! Also remember that when I am old and incontinent... i expect you to step up to the plate and change my nappy, as i did yours ;)
Watching you grow hasn't been easy. As each year has passed i have watch you bloom into a beautiful young man. I have watched you triumph and i have seen you fail. I have been there to kiss the tears away and hug you to share your joy. These things you can never put a price on. You don't tend to hug or kiss me much any more... you seem to think you're too old for that now but i beg to differ young man!
I'm sorry that you found out Santa Claus wasn't real when you were 9. It was a severe disappointment for me too when i leant the same when i was that age. I always held that magic for you as long as i could. I expect you to do the same if any children are blessed to have you as their father. Same goes for the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and The Grinch (He's real you know!)
I'm sorry that I've always been just a little bit too grumpy. I seem to have a gene that causes me to have sulky moments when i should be smiling with you. It's not easy being a parent. You'll realise that someday. When you finally realise that money doesn't grow on trees and the world isn't made of chocolate... you'll be able to see what i mean.
Always love with ALL your heart. Never be afraid to cry or to let others in. Please try to learn to ride a bike and stick to the swimming as you always hated that. Make sure you brush your hair, clean your teeth and wash your clothes. Shower often... no one likes a smelly person. I probably won't have taught you to iron as I'm rubbish at it but you know how to use the washing machine so go and put the whites on for your dear old ma.
Above all, remember that mummy always did her best for you. I may not have always got it right but i always tried and that, when you're a parent is the most important thing. You learn from your mistakes after all. So go forth into the big wide world, love hard, live fast and always try to achieve your dreams. I'm so proud of who you have become.
Always yours,
Love Mum.
xxxx
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